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The spirit spouse is a widespread element of shamanism, distributed through all continents and at all cultural levels. Often, these spirit husbands/wives are seen as the primary helping spirits of the shaman, who assist them in their work, and help them gain power in the world of spirit. The relationships shamans have with their spirit spouses may be expressed in romantic, sexual, or purely symbolic ways, and may include gender transformation as a part of correctly pairing with their "spouse". Shamans report engaging with their spirit spouses through dreams, trance, and other ritual elements.Orlando O. Espín & James B. Nickoloff: An Introductory Dictionary of Theology and Religious Studies. Liturgical Press, 2007. p. 1315b In some cultures, gaining a spirit spouse is a necessary and expected part of initiation into becoming a shaman. Examples of spirit spouses may be seen in non-shamanic cultures as well, including dreams about Jesus Christ by nuns,instance (Russian Orthodox) – Steven Fanning: Mystics of the Christian Tradition. Routledge, 2001. p. 71instance (Catholic) – "nuns of Barrios Altos" who are considered to be "brides of Christ". instances – Patrician Crawford: "Women's Dreams in early modern England", p. 100. In: Daniel Pick & Lyndal Roper (eds.): Dreams and History. Psychology Press, 2004. pp. 91–104
Baule of Côte d'Ivoire: "Baule statuary is dominated by elaborate figures carved to symbolize "spirit spouses". Baule mythology dictates that every adult, male or female, has such a spouse, manifested through dreams." "Baule" Each woman has a blolo bian ("spirit-husband"), and each man has a blolo bla ("spirit-wife"): these may be encountered in dreams; David W. Machacek & Melissa M. Wilcox: Sexuality and the World's Religions. ABC-CLIO, 2003. p. 26 "Every Baule man and woman living in the world has in the blɔlɔ a "spirit spouse". Women have a blɔlɔ bian ... and men have a blɔlɔ bla ... This dream partner is always described as very beautiful". Wilfried van Damme: Beauty in Context. Brill, 1996. p. 222 These spirit spouses are said to be in opposition to every man or woman's terrestrial husband or wife. The term that a man's wife would use to describe her relationship to his spirit spouse would translate into other languages as rival. The spirit spouses of the Baule can appear to their wife or husband in dreams and can take many forms but are never the form of their terrestrial spouse. Figurines representing them can be made for particular reasons, for example infertility or another crisis of a sexual nature . The blolo is able to give "good luck" however if the spirit spouse does not help with the problems of the natural world then the character of the spirit may be called into question and the figure of them may be discarded.
Among the varied tribes of southern Nigeria such as the Yoruba people and the Igbo people, Spirit Spouses of the Sea are common features of life due to the geographical closeness of their cultures to the Atlantic Ocean, though attitudes to their supposed existence depend largely on the religious inclinations of the individuals concerned. For example, a Yoruba Yoruba religion might look at a conjugal visit from a dream-based lover in much the same way as the aforementioned Ewe and Baule do, whereas a Muslim or Christians tribesman in the same situation would most likely look at it as a grave misfortune and seek the mystic aid of a spiritual counsellor to rectify what he would see as a probably dangerous connection to an otherworldly demon.
China"King Xiang (Hsiang; third century BCE) is said to have dreamt of a tryst with a goddess on Wu Shan (Witch's Mountain), with the goddess seizing the initiative."Sandra A. Wawrytko: "Prudery and Prurience: Historical Roots of the Confucian Conundrum concerning Women, Sexuality, and Power", p. 169. In: Chenyang Li (ed.): The Sage and the Second Sex: Confucianism, Ethics, and Gender.. La Salle: Open Court, 2000. pp. 163–198 In another translation, "Witch's Mountain" is "Shamanka Mountain". This goddess of Wu Shan "transformed into the fungus-like yaocao 媱草",Chen-chen Tseng "Myth as Rhetoric: the Quest of the Goddess in Six Dynasties Poetry". Journal of National Chung Cheng University, Sec. I: Humanities, Vol. 6 (1995), pp. 235–278 the "edible mushroom"Carol Rubenstein: The Honey Tree Song: Poems and Chants of Sarawak Dayaks. Ohio University Press, Athens, 1985. p. 15 being a metaphor in courtship for marriage.
Goldi of Siberia, along Sea of Japan: A male shaman may have in dreams a divine wife as ayami ("spirit-helper").Andrei A. Znamenski (compiler): Shamanism. London, 2004. vol. 1, p. 128
Yukaghir of Siberia, along upper Kolyma River: The goddess of hunting is "a lustful young woman whom hunters must persuade to provide them with prey animals by seducing her in their dreams."Rane Willerslev: Soul Hunters. University of California Press, Berkeley, 2007. pp. 142–143
Yakuts of Siberia: The daughters of the abaasy ("deities"), "in appearing to the shaman in his dream, ... enter into sexual intercourse with him."Andrei A. Znamenski (compiler): Shamanism. London, 2004. vol. 1, p. 134 Thereby she imparts to him "luck".
Nganasan people of Siberia: A woman in a shamanist family married the smallpox-spirit: she "became a wife of the Smallpox in her dream." "Dyukhade Kosterkin"
Buryat people of Siberia: In shamanic dreams, "The soul of a Buryat novice travels to the center of the world, where it meets, in an amorous encounter, the nine wives of Tekha, the god of ... dance. Eventually, the soul meets there his future celestial spouse." Michael Ripinsky-Naxon: The Nature of Shamanism. State University of New York Press, 1993. p. 76
Mesopotamia: Hemerologies reveal that an ardat lilī-demoness or lilû-demon could pick a young man or woman respectively as their mate, ( hâru),S.A.L. Butler: “Mesopotamian Conceptions of Dreams and Dream Rituals”. Ugarit-Verlag, Münster, 1998. p. 62 resulting in poor health. The lilu class of demons (later becoming associated during the 20th century with Lilith of Jewish mythology) loc. cit. appeared to their victims in dreams and were held responsible for illnesses such as epilepsy and syphilis. Here the spirit spouse concept was used not as a feature of shamanic healing, but offered as a disease etiology with corresponding shamanic cure.
In France, there is a belief that "during the night, in dreams, which he contrives to excite, he takes care to be the principal object of her ideas...'tis her sylph that causes her those pleasing reveries".Jonathan Gross: The Sylph. Northwestern U Pr, 2007. p. xlvi "Humans long to mate with sylphs, according to the Comte de Gabalis, because they want to live forever".Jonathan Gross: The Sylph. Northwestern U Pr, 2007. p. xliv
Kaluli on the northern slope of Mt. Bosavi in Papua"Mediums are men who have married spirit women in a dream". "Kaluli" "The medium is always a man who is married (in a dream) to a woman of the invisible world. When he has a child by her, he is able to go to sleep, leave his body, and walk about in the mama world."Edward L. Schieffelin: The Sorrow of the Lonely and the Burning of the Dancers. St. Martin’s Pr, NY, 1976. p. 98
Kodi of Sumba Island in southern IndonesiaA man "dreamed that he had an encounter with two wild spirits who lived in the forest ... The wild spirit takes the form of a seductive woman, asking for ... sexual favors in return for the magical powers she controls." A generation later, this man's son "was seduced by the wild spirit woman he saw and entered into a "spirit marriage" ( ole marapu)" with her, she becoming "his "spirit wife" ( ariwyei marapu)". Janet Hoskins: The Play of Time. University of California Press, 1997. p. 224 – 8. "Contested Time: the Feast in Dream Village" – "Land Rights and a Dream of Wealth".
Events that highlight the role of the spirit spouse include the Andean people's Tinku Festival, held in the first week of May. This Andean religious event celebrates Pachamama, a goddess considered to be the Mother Earth. The festivity includes a ceremonial ritual, wherein participants shed blood as sacrifice and offering to the goddess in order to acquire blessing and guarantee a plentiful harvest. Shamans troop to the Tinku Festival to search for their spirit spouse.Anthony Akerele (2025). 9780983776062, NMountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries Virginia. ISBN 9780983776062
In Mapuche, in Chile"human-like wekufe include Punkure and Punfüta, nocturnal ... spouses ... in their dreams".Ana Mariella Bacigalupo: Shamans of the Foye Tree. U of TX Pr, Austin, 2007. p. 35
The practice of dream-based spirit-marriage would appear likewise to exclude and be excluded by shallower trances involving some partial degree of control (but permanently and continuously, instead of merely intermittently as was the case in non-remembered trance) of the practitioner by a spirit-entity of opposite gender from that of the practitioner; which is attested not only among the Two-Spirit in tribes of the Great Plains of North America, but also among the manang in Borneo, and perhaps also among numerous other persons and geographic regions (including European practitioners of homosexual magic, etc.).
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